Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
