he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
