I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
