Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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