Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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