well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
