He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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