My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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