your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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