Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
