you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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