she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
