There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
