Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
