Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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