fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i love accidental penises.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
