i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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