the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
