Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
