so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
