He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
