i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
