Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
