Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
