I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
