pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
