We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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