Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
