don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
