I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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