this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
