You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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