WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
