Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
