Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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