it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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