It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
