are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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