So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
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I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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