Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
