there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
