420 ftw
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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