I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
