Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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