It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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