So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
