I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
