She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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