it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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