Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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