Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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