I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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