OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
