1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
