wat bout pragnant strippers??
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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