talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
