i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
