just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
